Grab that awareness of NO & protect it. For 99%+ of the people in your life – you don’t truly know their work ethic, character, past trauma/experiences, etc. Where many people go wrong is they resist that fact and act like their opinion of someone is actually valid.
Karrine Steffans – who “made it” despite child abuse, rape, kidnapping, homelessness, etc. – explains our society of judgment-seeking over understanding-seeking in a lecture to California State University students titled The Pertinence of The Black Female Experience:
Karrine Steffans (6:48) – “Instead of asking someone what they’ve been through, instead of asking someone what their life has been like, instead of looking at someone’s life story, you judge them because you are born in a society of judgment. You come from this culture of judgment and shame. And I realize that we also live in a society that is so mean yet so sensitive because you don’t want anyone to judge you, and your inadequacies. You don’t want anyone to judge you, but you’re judging everybody else so freely. And instead of doing all of that, did you stop to ask the person next to them that you’re judging, did you stop ask me, ‘What has happened to you? Tell me your story.’ … “
This idea, or at least the practice of it, seems to be heading toward extinction – the idea to not judge other people. Unless you have the full picture of a person – you just don’t know what led to them doing _______, why they are ________, why they said ________, etc. You don’t know how they are built, their health problems, or that perhaps their four children were brutally murdered right in front of their eyes (see video at bottom). So approach every person you meet with a blank canvas, an open mind and fill in her picture as you seek to understand – not judge – understand the other person & what vantage point (s)he started at, are at, and are accelerating towards.
*** Faith Harris-Green at the sentencing hearing tied to her children’s murders: Viewer discretion advised. It’s a lot.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRkh8W27whs